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dont forgetAs I witness progress the clients I work with make along their therapeutic path, there comes a point where our discussions uncover less new insights and attention switches to their “remembering”. We may have been talking about a certain relational dynamic and how they contribute to it and the following week, the same ‘complaint’ has arisen. “Ah yes, we were talking about that last week…I forgot”…followed sometime later with the lament “how do I remember?”. There are some clients who never learn ‘to remember’, and we therapists can get interested as to why some clients don’t seem to have a psychological minded-ness and what that might tell us about their developmental path and what was not provided at critical points. However, most people take time to integrate new understanding in to their lives…and it can be frustrating “to know” the blind spots, yet they remain only on the periphery of day-to-day awareness.

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morning cuppaAfter my morning meditation practice, I take a cup of tea outside and sit on the bench in my front garden. At this time of the year, this ritual takes in the sun just as it is rising above the houses at the end of the street. I feel like a cat, bathing in the morning rays and enjoying the sensations of warmth on my face. This morning, I was taking in the September sun and watching the world waking up: dog walkers, commuters, and even a few school children. I had a real sense of the rhythm being set, another year ahead.

As I sat, I noticed how my feelings changed - all depending on the story I was telling myself. “Ah, September sun..its still warm…I love this time of year”; and then “Groan, September, the end of the summer, back to work”. Alternation. In the first I felt open, in the second I felt closed and defended.

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feet upJung famously wrote about synchronicity - and I think my deepening interest in Jung’s approach is in part fuelled by spotting auspicious linking of events and phenomena more and more. Currently, it is as if the whole universe is pointing out the importance of space to me - I can’t help but sit up and listen. I recognise that insecurities and vulnerabilities developed in childhood have biased me towards structure and form - the more static masculine aspects of the psyche; and in the pursuit of harmony, I am being invited to consider the feminine. Regular readers of this blog will know I’ve been writing about this theme for some weeks now.

My drum beats to the rhythm of the academic calendar, and the summer often presents contradictory responses to its call in me. Longing for the space and the rest it will bring (and I need); then the arriving of that space and me reacting like I have an insatiable itch. Aided by my path as a meditator and therapist, I recognise the messages that life sends me - this is an obstacle that needs working through (rather than jumping over). I have been contemplating how to work with this rather than find a way to “get rid”.